English Ver.　　 性癖ライフハック？　DL Ver.　〜現役DLだった頃のやまーがしていたこと、使っていた物など〜

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My Inborn Kink: DL (Diaper Lover)

Some of you reading this blog might share the same experiences, thoughts, or feelings as I do.
I hope to share the things I’ve experienced over the years, the products I’ve used that have been helpful, and maybe even some little “kink life hacks” for the mind. 😁
Because of the nature of the topic, things might get a bit graphic—but I’ll try to keep it as tame as I can. ✨

Childhood (Up to About Age 12)

It all began when I was three years old, with a two-year-old girl in the neighborhood who was my childhood friend.
She didn’t “distort” my kink—rather, she helped me realize it. (I think Maru-kun had almost the exact same experience as me 😁)

Even now, I still find myself wondering:
“Why do I like diapers?”

For a child with little knowledge or life experience to feel such an attraction to diapers… I think it must have been something inborn.
There’s probably no real reason why we like what we like.

At that age, I obviously couldn’t just buy things for myself.

やまー
やまー

3-year-old me: “I want to wear a diaper!”


I even went as far as to beg my mom. (Children’s honesty can be terrifying.)

Of course, she didn’t grant that request—and so my feelings grew even more tangled.
I would spend my days looking enviously at my still-diapered friend.
As substitutes, I used towels and swim briefs, and I also had a strange fondness for spats—I loved their smooth texture and the snug, slightly compressing feeling.

(Side note: once, as a kindergartener, I stole a bunch of my mom’s sanitary pads thinking they were diapers… and got into huge trouble for it. But I’ll save that story for another time. 😂)

I think wearing those “substitute diapers” gave me a sense of comfort—but also a slight feeling of guilt.

Looking back, I think this might have been the point where I ended up firmly on the DL side rather than ABDL.
I didn’t want diapers because I wanted to regress or be babied—I simply liked wearing them.
It’s already a mystery to me why I liked them… so to other people, it must be even more puzzling. 😂

By elementary school, I would sneak a towel into my swim briefs and enjoy it in secret.
In sixth grade, I even experienced my first climax in that setup… which basically sealed my fate—I wasn’t going back to a “normal” kink. 😅

It was an absolute secret.
I couldn’t let anyone know.

Writing all this now is making me want to die from embarrassment.
But I’m sure everyone in this community has at least a few memories like this.

And honestly, I think those feelings and memories are worth cherishing.
Because it’s thanks to being born with this kink that I eventually found the ABDL community, started this blog, made friends, and connected with people at meetups.

Part of me thinks, “Wow, I’m weird.”
But another part of me doesn’t hate myself for it.
I may never love this side of myself, but I want to at least accept it. 😌

⸻




Forgetting What I Love!?

Time passed, and by the time I was in middle school, my life was busy—no diapers nearby, just school, friends, and club activities.
Somehow, I actually forgot about my kink. 😂

Where did that strong diaper desire go?
I used to love them so much.

Even if a kink is inborn, I think environment still has a big influence.
If I’d had more diaper-related events around me—like bedwetting that didn’t go away, or diapers still being in my house or a friend’s—I’m sure it would have resurfaced sooner.
But no such thing happened.

In high school, though, I stumbled upon pictures of adult women wearing diapers online.
It was shocking—and completely captivating. 😂

For a teenage boy to be more interested in a woman wearing diapers than in her being naked is… unusual, right?
But for me, it felt completely natural. 😁

⸻

Remembering Again (lol)

The images I found online were striking, but I was still a DL at the time.
I knew that unless I could actually wear diapers myself, I wouldn’t feel satisfied.

Then, in my early 20s, I finally moved out on my own for the first time.

One day, for reasons I still can’t recall, I found myself drawn to the diaper aisle at the drugstore.

“I could buy them if I wanted to… but…”

It felt like something I shouldn’t do—but also not truly wrong.
But if it wasn’t wrong, why did it feel like I shouldn’t?

Seeing something I’d loved for so long right in front of me unleashed a hidden desire that had been dormant for years.
I panicked, wondering what excuse I could make to calm myself down.

“I want them… but if I buy them, I’ll never go back.”

That instinctive fear kept me from buying them for several days.
Basically, I was scared.

⸻

Things You Can Do as an Adult

And then… I finally reached for my first adult diaper.
It was a pull-up style.

I pushed through the embarrassment and inner conflict, paid for it at the register, and hurried home.
Inside, my heart was racing—it still races when I remember it.

Holding something I loved so much, knowing I was about to use it… I felt like I was about to do something terribly naughty—but my excitement outweighed the guilt.
I was going to wear it—and once I did, I knew it wouldn’t stop there.

Back in my room, my hands trembled as I touched the package—partly from relief that I was home, partly from anticipation.
I knew there was no going back.
But I also felt no fear anymore.

In my own space, I could enjoy what I loved, my way.
The euphoria was intoxicating.

At that moment, I thought:
“Wow… I really do love diapers.”

Welcome back, me.
Adulthood is freedom—and it’s fun.

⸻


Enjoying My DL Life

Through my 20s, I was completely absorbed in DL life. 😂
I wasn’t on social media then, so I quietly enjoyed my diapers alone.

I even wore them to bed at night.
Waking up in the morning still wearing one gave me both a slight sense of guilt and an indescribable joy. ✨

While browsing diaper-related content online, I discovered cute diaper covers.

Honestly, medical-style disposable diapers aren’t exactly cute. 🥲
So when I found adorable diaper covers online, my heart leapt.

“This might be exactly what I’ve been looking for!”

I was amazed that there were people out there making such lovely things. ✨

The first diaper cover I bought was from a now-closed shop called Kaikodou.
It had a little bunny applique—so cute, and perfectly adult-sized.
The quality was outstanding, and I wore it almost every day.

It reminded me of the snug, smooth feel of the swim briefs and spats I’d worn as a child.

My diaper play definitely escalated from there. 😁

I also started trying taped diapers for the first time.
I chose Attento as my first.

Peeling and fastening the tapes myself—for my own enjoyment—was a strange, guilty thrill.

Even though I didn’t need to wear them, I couldn’t stop.
Living alone meant I had total privacy, and that safety let me explore.

I also got into using pads, including Japanese brands and the overseas TENA pads.
They were expensive, but incredibly functional—high absorbency, great fit, and a comforting bulk.

Over time, my collection of items grew, and I sank deeper into the world of diaper play.

I thought:
“Surely no one else around me does this. I’ll never meet anyone through this hobby. That’s fine—this will just be my secret.”

Until I found this community on social media…

diaper covers

⸻

Closing Thoughts

This has been the story of my DL journey so far.
Maybe you’ve had similar experiences, or used some of the same items.

Everyone has their own path in life, and we all find different ways to enjoy our interests.
Hearing others’ stories opens up new perspectives—and it’s fun precisely because these are real, lived experiences.

If anything I wrote here resonated with you, even a little, I’m happy. 😊

There are still so many DL-related items and play ideas I didn’t cover here—maybe I’ll write about them in another post.

And if we ever chat on Spaces or TwitCasting, I’d love to hear your own stories and how you play. 👍

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